“Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. ….” This is a common phrase that we have used once a time in our lives. It may vary across but every community group and age had a way of saying words can’t hurt them. Jus the other day, I heard my aunt say, “Wacha waseme, akichoka walale. Hawawezi kunitingisha”-let them talk once they are done they go to sleep, they cannot shake me. I also remember that time in primary school when we used to say, “Matusi hayatajibandika kwa uso!”-words can’t stick/be pasted on my forehead. Well we all say that in one form or another but even that we know it is not true Words do hurt, sometimes more than stick and stones. They may not shake you physically, but they shake you emotionally, they move your heart and feeling. Look, why do you feel disturbed? Why do you get angry? Why do fear when someone give you a threat call? Words are powerful. And their wounds, can last a life time. They may not paste themselves on your forehead that everyone can read, but they are pasted somewhere in your subconscious such that someone may know you are hurt.
Yes words are so powerful, they make and break. What most of us call the power of the tongue is what the power of words is. In the beginning, God used words to create the world. He gives the same power to man when he created him, when he told him to name all the creatures on the face of the earth. The power of words, the power of naming! Put it across and it become. It came down all the way to parent and up to date, we see parents have the power to name their child. And every single word they say into their lives mould them and make them. Once my Kiswahili teacher told me, “what thou shall profess, thou shall become.”
Today I was sat at my Kinyozi shop, the barbers started discussing why and how they landed in their profession. One of them asked if any of them wanted to be what they are today. My barber recounted one day when their teacher asked what they wanted to be in future. Him he wanted to be ship captain but he never made it. One of the classmate said that he would be a robber; he would be waiting for the others to gather money and him he goes to pick it. Sadly, that is what he became to be. He was killed two weeks ago while carjacking a car in Nairobi.
Words! The way we communicate our ideas, we affirm our passions, our dreams and thought systems. We affirm who we are! Gladly, positive life-affirming words are powerful too. I remember when I was small; I used to misplace my stuff very often. Well, probably I was just a boy growing up! Because of that, my big sisters and my dad used to call me careless! That went on and careless I became. I can’t explain it well here, but I used to loose and misplace things, my books were untidy! Not that I was untidy myself, but from home I was called careless! So I become. I remember one day my mom sent me to but kerosene, she gave me KES 150. That is all she had in her pocket. She told me three times to take care of the money. My big brother, who was there, asked her why she was sending me and she knew how careless I was with money! She told me to go ahead. I got to the gas station, I looked for the money and I cont find it. I was so shaken! I cried, I run back home looking for the money, but I couldn’t find it! I got home, I couldn’t talk, and I was all in tears. When I told my brother that I lost the money, he really beat me. When my mother came later, I had decided to run away from home. I knew I had disappointed my mother; I lost all the money that she had. When she came, I told her not to beat more; I told her that I was really sorry. She looked at me and asked me what I wanted her to do with me. I responded and told her, since I am a careless child, I should become a chokora (street boys who eat from the bins). I told her I wanted to leave and become a chokora. She looked at me told me to sit down and narrate what happened, she wanted to know how I lost the money. I explain everything and she asked; did you check your pockets? I said yes. “You searched thoroughly?” I responded yes. Then she asked, “apart from the pocket, where else would you keep the money, if you do not want to lose it?” I kept quiet. She asked, “Have you checked in your socks?” I said no. she told me to check and ……there the money was! She looked at me and said, you are not careless, you are just too careful to lose the money. Next time remember where you have carefully kept the money.
Next time, remember where you have carefully kept the money! Yes that is a statement I remember to date. And it changed my whole perspective of me being careless. And never did I lose money when I was sent to the market! What the power of words can do! Encouraging words can wipe out self doubt like sunshine breaking though the fog. They instill confidence, and self esteem. Hopeful words do dispel fear.
In spite of the cacophony of ugly, pessimistic and degrading sounds, words of love and lyrics of hope instill hope, confidence, esteem and strength to go on with life. A friend of mine who is script writer and director, told me that before every play set on, she calls all actors and affirm them of their great talent. Assure them of her support and optimism in their performance. Surprisingly, she told me that in most cases, whether the play scoops the first position or not, her students knows that they did their best and that they just missed the first point not that they are incapable! Power of words! I like what she believes in; that all of us have great potential and all we need is someone to tell us we can make it and that we are great. All we need is someone to assure us of who we are and what we can achieve. However in this full of world of competition and gullible people and selfish intent in everything, few people find time to tell you of what you are worth of. No one wants to make you feel appreciated. Most people are eager to misuse and take advantage of who you are and what you can do.
Giving people messages of eternal life, of hope and assurance, is like bathing a broken heart like a warm healing balm. I have learnt to talk words of assurance and love to people, because experience have taught me, even if at that moment they do not make sense, once a upon time, they will.
The power of the statement and words that we speak to and unto people and people speak to us cannot be over emphasized. We therefore need to learn to speak words that caution, build and help others and even ourselves come out of the fears and disappointment that we are in at the moment. Make it a point today to encourage every single person you encounter today. And you know what; smiles, a halo, thank you or sorry is all that you might need to add in your vocabulary!
