2010 in a nutshell

In December 2009, I was really on my downiest time of my life; I had to start a new life in almost all aspect of myself. But mid of that month, I saw the hand of God and things worked so well till the end of the year. I started the New Year with such zeal and hope. Yah, I did kick it off on a high note. January 2010 I was so optimistic of the coming year. I knew I would really work on my resolutions and goals I had here. But this is what it turned out to be:

1.       January

a.      Happy new year

b.      Matatus goes on strike, I report to school three days later.

c.       A cheque I was expecting bounces, I have to survive in campus for three weeks with KES 450 in the pocket.

d.      Unbelievable support from my campus family; Cecilia Njoroge, Maryanne Kagai Anne Olang'o.

e.      Meets Martin R Khay talk and he restores hope to live another day. Martin, I remember the chipos we had at that ka hotel and talking for three hours.

The lessons learnt in this month were; life bouncing castle, the higher you jump the higher you bounce.

2.       February

a.      The cheque matures; life is better, settles debts with my Sacco. Never felt that relieved.

b.      Initial drama in my relationship, meet to iron it out. The partner is left more than shuddered; I am left more than pieces of bloody heart.

c.       I am tired of school and take a whole week recess to Mwea, just one week to exam.

d.      14^th, Robert is one year old. Woken up in my room at 0000hrs by a group of gals I never forget, Cecilia, Anne, Kogos, Naomi, and others. Rumor had reached them that I am planning to escape that morning at 6am to head home. So they decided to wash me at that time. Ooh twas cold but the happy birthday song made me warmer. Thanks for the love. On the same day, goes to the children’s’ home and meet Blessol, Leila, Joyce and Gulliet. Gals you still rock in my life.

e.      Starts exams, closes school and goes to Kakamega for a week. Gets to know Esther Muthee more, can’t forget the fun we had as we trained together. You are gal destined for greater things in life.

Lesson: So many people say that you won’t amount to anything, you won’t make it, and you won’t succeed- unless you’re on your own. But those people forget the heroes standing behind them- the unsung warriors- the brave fighters and peacemakers- who make life what it is. These people are friends, compadres, amigos, amis and even the chums- add the vibrancy and color to this world that is otherwise a monotone black and white. These people- who no matter what is wrong and what they are doing, support you every step of the way and hold you up when you’re falling.

3.      March

Meet Patrick Kiarie Nyokabi, this man turns my life all the other round. We talked and I thought I was watching a movie. I see what God can do for his people; I moved a notch higher in faith. He ends up becoming more than a brother. Patrick Kiarie Nyokabi I love and treasure you so much. You are such a blessing.

Reports back to school for second semester. There is no much to do than read. The reality that I may have completely lost the one that I loved strikes me.  Maryanne Kagai your support is invaluable. Love you big gal.

Lesson:

So the grace You poured upon my life
Will return to You in praise
I'll gladly lay down all my crowns
For the name of which I am saved
Redeemer Savior Friend

4.      April

A very cool month, very rainy. A lot of attention to books, knowing that the end of year exams is just around the corner. Receives a sweet gift of books from my sweet mom, Rosemary Kestner. The books take me a higher notch in my spiritual life. Rosemary Kestner I still read the books and they are such a blessing. Thanks you so much for the books and can’t wait to see you next year.

My mother Josephine Wanjiru Maruri turns 54! She gives me a surprise in my life, am so not going to expose it until later.

5.      May and June

I have been a good member of G-Kenya Trust for one and half month and now acting as the secretary. I join the other members, David Kuria, Elphas Naivasha, Leonard Mutisya, Maurs Tunya, Ali, Gabriel, Javince, Chris Lilo . They are such a great set of brains, talents, friendships and life changers. Values you guys very much.

We sets out with the G-Kenya Trust to domesticate the Yogyakarta Principles; a universal guide to human rights which affirm binding international legal standards and promise a different future where all people born free and equal in dignity and rights can fulfill their precious birthright.

I am preparing to do the end of year exams. The SONU elections are approaching. There are bashments all over campus, noisy and very lousy. Elections are done; get back to normal life in campus. In no time, student’s starts rioting and we are sent home till further notice. It turns out to five weeks out of college.

I am so bored with life, but an opportunity to spend my time at G-Kenya Trust volunteering. This turns out to be a time when am molded into an activist, and to revisit my proposal writing skills which had dwindled since I joined campus two years ago. It was a breathtaking experiencing, empowering, eye-opening and all the same challenging in totality. Key thing I learnt in the period were to get to live with people of diverse opinion and personality and appreciate the inherent strength of a person, deal with prejudice and discriminations. I can forget what and experience it was working with  David Kuria, Elphas Naivasha, Leonard Mutisya, Maurs Tunya, Ali, Gabriel,  Denis Nzioka, Soloh, Owen. We had our differences, but am glad we tried to override them. Blessings to all of you and the good work you are doing. Hope we are going to do bigger stuff this year.

Other important people that I met at the place were; Sam Masai, your sense of humor and encouraging verses makes me miss you every minute.

Ryan Ubuntu, the intern from Clinton school of public service, you are a friend, a colleague and a mentor. Your expertise, zeal and diligence still amazes me. I will treasure you all along and I hope to see you soon.  We did a lot and we are going to do even more together. We share a vision. I am praying for you to get a new Job and a partner too!!HUH

6.      July

We are called back to school, with only one week to prepare for the exam. I receive bad news that Ryan Ubuntu cutting short his visit to Kenya. I remember meeting you at the hotel and seeing you off. I owe you big time dear. G-Kenya trust is rocking weakly in a wave that seems it will tear it up. A time to challenge prejudice and the real meaning of standing for justice. I still feel guilty that my assertive skills never worked and working on the even now. Huh am glad G-Kenya Trust stood that and came out stronger.

I am doing my exam, it was an uphill climb. Parasitology and Microbiology are making me tense all up. Oh, thank God I did it all.

7.      August and September

I am volunteering at G-Kenya Trust. Packing at a friend’s House, Elphas. It was cool, and despite all that happened later, thanks so much for the time. I owe you big time for your kindness, and commitment in the activism. Keep the spirit brother and I wish blessings to come all your way. I meet very humble people from Nairobi, guys from Mwaura’s, courtesy of Blessol and Joyce. I tell you, the story made me thank God for every single moment I sleep under a roof and for every thought of a bright future I find away.

8.      October

I am at home preparing to go back to school. two weeks of sleeping and relaxing. Thanks God for my mom and sisters, you just make me miss home everytime. Small bro Richard and nephew Ben Love you big. I miss seeing you off to school in the morning. I look forward to see you as big men in the community. You still come to be the Pilot and Doctors you want to be in future. God lead you.

I am reporting to school. I just realize I was not allocated a room by SWA.  And my most turbulent time of my year starts. I am just from clearing some issues that had been holding important things of my life and was not really standing on a good ground. Ferrying from home for two weeks was just too stressing. I thanks God for my family in campus; Cecilia Njoroge, Maryanne Kagai Anne Olang'o. Mbarikiwe tu sana. The collabo to host me is just invaluable. 

The same time I meet a very Important man of God who have really restored a lot of Lost hope in my life; Nebert Njeru. You are a God sent angel in my life and I tell you we are going to work together through thick and thin to see what we agreed comes to be. I am grateful that you shared a dream that no other person ever shared to me. I thank God that since I met you I can comfortably say I have a father. Mbarikiwa tu mpaka ufloat.

9.      November

I am just accustoming to school life. Trying to get the grip of studies, when a bad thing happens again. I lose my sweet lovely grandma. Nduta wa Korre. She is the one woman who fore saw something in my about influence and leadership when I was toddler and told me that I am destined for big things. I lost my hope when I was in high school and she walked me home assuring of success. I will not forget the times we have talked, the wise words you have told me. I will always miss you grandma. Sob Sob Sob! Surely you were a great woman, a politician, a mentor, a leader, a mother, a grandmother and a legacy we will sing of forever. You told that I may not be that masculine but I am a great man. You are my role model.

I am having the time with the lowest emotional level. I want to take a week or two from school to a place far away where I can get to focus on myself, deal with some anger and hatred toward God and some people for long time in my life. I can’t just get to class; I have no energies for that. And so I miss the classes, and at the end of the month I am called to go for training in Bondo. Probably, this going to be a breather for me.

I take one afternoon, go to certain garden, I cry and cry and cry and cry……….when am leaving there, I feel better though still mad at God and life, They are so unfair. Did I deserve all the suffering in my life?

10.   December

I am in Bondo at the beginning of the month. I am taking all the sweet time to reflect on my inner self and what I want to make out of life. I am having great company with colleagues and the guys we were training. Challenging times at Got Kojwang’, Pith Dero and Kamariga. I make new friends, Wabi, Maja, cate and Wilberforce. A lot to learn and a lot to keep for my life. I shall share them later.

Get back to school and on the day I arrive I am so not sleepy so I chat with a new friend on facebook, called Mwangi Mukami. Since that day, I knew I have met a brother, a mentor and friend. God bless you for all that we have shared and we are continuing to share. A lot of blessings you have helped me gather. You taught me the place I need to take in life ever and I am not going to bargain for anything less.

This happens to be the month that I am meeting very interesting personalities and friends, just to mention them, France Mwambia, Teapati Reinhard, Steve Jay, Fred Kinoti, Rae Ray, Izoh Chakaya and all my facebook friends who I can’t all enlist here here, Robyn Ndouch Ba-Chiru Friends. You are such a blessing to me, you encourage, teach and promote my wellbeing. Thanks for everything. Fred Kinoti, France Mwambia Mwangi Mukami, Nebert  Njeru looking up for bigger things from us this coming year.

There are also these special friends in my life who have been there for me by me and with me through thick and thin, life in and life out; Trizah Kamau- First love, John Mburu-Trinity Brothers, Patrick and Esther, Patrick Musibi, Veno Beacky, Fr. Edward and whole OFM Conv. fraternity, Sean Gits, Kiratu Douglas. Guys Tumetoka Mbali na Tunaenda Mbali pia.

Finally, when you look at Robert, don’t just see a man there; see the works of the Almighty God. Every ounce of me is because of his grace and love. You should also see the great work Josephine, my mother has done into my life and not to forget my siblings; Joshua, Alice, Mary, George, Marieh, Anne, Richard. That is the family that keep me beating, I love them so much!

I have no idea what to expect this coming year. I am tempted not to make any resolutions since the last years seems like a bounce back. One major prayer I have is a drive toward full independence, expanded boundaries and financial breakthrough, guidance from the God. I want to be a year when I will grow in faith, strength, career, in favor of God and Mankind.

And the debate continues

I love the word of God, because it speaks of love and redemption. However much it may condemn and look inconsistent with other issues that occurs, it embraces one thing, Love, hope and faith; which means, the bible speaks of inherent respect for all human beings irrespective of orientations, backgrounds or future projections.

Every time I am addressing any group of people or persons who are marginalized and more so the LGBTI persons, I look into getting to understand who they are, more than what they do! It is not impressing to realize people of knowledge, and who are well looked upon to give command just reduce the LGBTI to their acts. Bearing a narrow point of view and understanding of people is dangerous and least to mention detrimental to the social wellbeing of a community.

One day I was talking to a group of counselors, interesting the issue of homosexuality in high school came up. So I wrote the term HOMOSEXUALS in bold on the flip chart then I asked them, to describe them using one word, based on the following questions: who? Why? Where? When? How? Interesting I noted two men in the group just closed their eyes and flown their faces as in pain. Exploring that further, it came out evidently that at the mention of the name homosexual flushed a picture of two men having anal sex. Oh yeah right, maybe it is too happening to you too. But take a moment and think, who is a homosexual? Is it a man who has sex with men, what is commonly called MSM? Interestingly, I came to learn in that session too that most people don’t even remember actually there are homosexual women and so they just think that it involves men only. And that is why, as the comments above shows, most people just look at men who have sex with men (MSM) as homosexuals only; and as a result homosexuality as anal sex only.

Just a point of clarification, people need to get it into their mind that there is a great difference between sexual orientation and sexual activities. To start with, we are created as human beings in a way that we express complexity and diversity in character, perceptions and orientations. Sexuality- the sum total of all biological/physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual and social aspects of an individual in regard to their sex and/or gender- is no exception. Therefore across the globe, continents, communities and cultures and more so time, there are observed with keen interest sexual diversity, especially in orientation and activities carried among the people of the same gender or of the opposite genders.

While Sexual Orientation describes a person’s emotional, romantic and sexual attraction patterns to other people, be it of his gender, other gender or both, sexual activities describe the deliberate acts/activities that seeks to gratify their sexual desires and needs. They may not necessarily involve other partners, but in most cases they do. Therefore Sexual activity with a person of the same sex, in and of itself, does not necessarily demonstrate homosexual orientation. This is one of the points that most people who work with Men who have sex with men MSM, have come to appreciate. And as far as health is concerned it is an important epidemiological factor to consider as far as HIV and AIDS transmission and infections are concerned. Talking to a number of MSM I have worked with, I came to realize that most of them do not at all identify as gay, and there are there for fun, because of conditions they are in such as prisoners, and later go back to their wives or girlfriends while others are actually purely homosexuals in orientation and activities. That is just what they identify as! Well this account for the new treads in multi-cross infections. So a large number of the so called MSM turns out not to be homosexuals in orientation but just men who want to have sex with men and women too, and they do not at all identify as gay.

But that is not something I want to explore today, my point is this, homosexuals are more than just sexual activities. Homosexual relationships involve the holistic experience of sexuality just as heterosexual relationships do. That is physical contacts, and not always anally, psychological, emotional and spiritual and social aspects. These are not just people who meet people of the same gender simply because they want to have sexual intercourse with them. They are trying to complete their identity, they are looking for the complete emotional connection necessary for them feel loved and to love. I have come also realized that contrary to many people’s belief that whenever two men or women who are homosexual meet they must have sexual intercourse, and herein I refer to genital-genital, actually many of them just want to connect to someone who they feel well connected to and can comfortably express their identity to.

I will ask you all, as I have always done, to put aside all our prejudices and biases and in a sober way and understand that there is a clear distinction between sexual orientation and sexual activities. Homosexuals may do what is not conventionally referred to as natural, or commonly said to be against the order of nature, but it this is secondary to meeting their social emotional needs. Did you know there are so many homosexuals across the globe, who practice heterosexuality (even married), yet they identify as homosexuals? And have lovers who are of their gender and do not necessarily engaged sexual intercourse, yet they enjoy very strong romantic relationships with their partners? By the way can we say these ones are evil too? How about straight people who engage in anal sex or use sex toys, because they are there, what do we say of them? By doing so, do they become homosexuals?

I would like to close my comment by saying, not all who are attracted to or have sexual relationships with members of the same sex identify themselves as homosexual or even bisexual. Some people frequently have sex with members of the same sex yet still see themselves as heterosexual. At the same time there are those who practice heterosexuality yet they identify as homosexuals.  It is important therefore to distinguish between homosexual behavior, homosexual attraction, and homosexual identity, which need not coincide. For example, people in prison, the military, or other sex-segregated environments may engage in situational homosexual behavior despite being heterosexual outside these environments. In addition, some people engage in homosexual behaviors for reasons other than desire. One example is male prostitutes (often called hustlers) who earn money by having sex with other men: while some hustlers are homosexual, but a significant number are not. Do you detest homosexual activities-and in this context referring to anal sexual specifically- or homosexual orientation?

LOVE, Speaking the language of LOVE

We crave to love someone, we crave to be love, we find it difficult to talk of love, why is love a priority anyway? Is love mysterious? Is love elusive? It is quite difficult to talk of love. I find it even harder to define what love is anyway. 

Look here, love unlike a boy or cat or dog or cup is not a noun it is a verb it is hard to describe it. There is no adjective for it. It must be demonstrated, it must be experienced. Love in its place as a verb can only be found where there is will. It can only be given out or received by someone willing. Love is an action, not a mere attitude or feeling. 

Love reaches out, speaks out, cries out and holds out, it perseveres, it is always moving, not as stagnant as the pond. Love grows; it matures, but never dies. The more we give love the more love we receive, scientifically speaking love is regulated in a positive feedback mechanism. 

Love is not the magnificent things we do to other people, but the little acts of kindness, humility, small expressions that to people... it is the little details and decisions we make upon people, it is not necessarily the major things we do in life.

Love is about daily decisions, daily acts. It is not an instance of meeting and falling in love, but what one does to maintain the love that he has fallen into. It is making each day count in someone’s life. Is it true that it is easier to be not in love than loving at all? I tend to think so. Love as said earlier is not a bang! Falling in love once and that is it. No it requires nurturing. It requires more efforts to maintain it than falling in it. If someone could love fully, with no regard to self, then we would be free of so many worries. It is for love and by love that we were created. Love lifts a sorrowful soul, saves a dying soul, forgives an offender, reconciles with the haters, speaks for the oppressed and makes life a meaning. Love heals the wound, it heals bleeding hearts, cleans the bruises of the hurting world, it brings life where it never was.

SHUT UP AND RESPECT HUMANITY IN ALL!!!

The Kenya we have today is a democratic, pluralistic, information-oriented and dynamic society. We all should be both respectful of diverse points of view and approaches to life, and competent in selecting, considering and using information to arrive at responsible decisions. I believe that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. All leaders and institutions, religious or secular, as it also applies to people should promote tolerance and sensitivity, and be on the forefront in preventing intimidation, harassment and aggression against any person whether because of their known or presumed sexuality.

We need to first deal with internalized homophobia; that is the irrational fear, negative action, perception, attitude or treatment directed toward persons who identifies as anything else other than, heterosexuals. It is a sad belief that everyone is heterosexual, because that is not the case. And worse is equating homosexuals, bisexuals, trans-genders to thieves and rapists. The former reflect diversity in sexual orientation and gender identity, and not deliberate characters or acts undertaken by thugs and rapists. Picture this, gays and lesbians lead very normal lives. You talk to them, work with them, eat with them, think like them, the difference between them and the heterosexuals is that they are not attracted sexually and emotionally to people of the opposite sex! They are attracted to people of their gender and they want to be with them. By appreciating that just there is always a deviation in almost all aspects of humanity, be it color( that have given rise to many races across the world), physical features (having the disabled and the non-disabled), intellect (quick learners and slow learners), temperaments (various personality profiles), so we should not forget that sexuality like other aspects of humanity too have deviation and just like one would place the skin color on a continuum, so can sexuality be placed. Meaning that, naturally, when a child is born, has a probability of ending up to being any of the three forms of sexual orientations (homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual).

Well, acknowledging and appreciating that there is sexual diversity does not mean that you have to approve of it, it means that you are going to look up to people who do not necessarily identify as you do, or do not hold beliefs that are not like yours, as normal human being who are just different. If then homosexuals and bisexuals are evil, thereby justifying homophobia, it then beat logic to say that apartheid is evil, and harassment of people with disabilities is bad! Simple, human rights are all universal, inseparable and indivisible!
Whatever sort of fears heterosexuals have over homosexuals and bisexuals, should be dealt with and faced with realism and soberness. It so bad that most people, and more so, the clergy just act/treat or talk about homosexuals and bisexuals, mis-defining and misrepresenting them all together out of ignorance. No one ever bothers to sit back to get to understand, where they have come from? How come they are where they are? And what does it mean to them to have a partner or a person of their gender. I mean, before you raise your hand or open mouth to say something about the LGBTI people, think again of how much you know about them and more so how factual or real your judgments or actions are based on. On the other access your level of prejudice and misinformation.

To read more on this check it here

Be ware of your thoughts

Whether you know it or not, today you are placing an order for your tomorrows from the catalogue of the Universe. Your predominant thoughts and feelings today are creating a frequency that is automatically determining your life tomorrow.

Feel good now and for the rest of the day, and make your tomorrows magnificent.

 

May the joy be with you,

 One day,my friend shared with me the new perspective of seeking to know what your creator had in mind about you, I saw this psalm and thought it is right for us to rehearse it daily in our lives.

PSALMS 139
O Lord, you have searched me

and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you know it completely, O Lord.

You hem me in—behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths,a you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

How precious tob me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!

Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent;

your adversaries misuse your name.


Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord,


and abhor those who rise up against you?


I have nothing but hatred for them;


I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting

Something to Learn About Stress

Did you know that stress is the body's normal response to an abnormal situation, n that its a potential you can use for the betterment of yourself? Indeed, how u get to handle it may drive u toward a state of self discovery and understanding that will makes you better, understand what you are experiencing and get the best out of it. Indeed, you are able to generate internal energy and use it to go through the tough times. When u take it as such, we call it eustress. 

However if you are negative and feeling desperate, fatigued and bila morale, the reverse is true. You lack the internal strength to drive you through the situation n start seeking exogenous energies. Negative body condition like cognitive dissonance, headache, stomach upset n other diseases masks you such that you are unable to see the opportunities that lies within the stressing situation. Now, that we call it distress. In managing our stress we should strive toward turning it eustress much more than distress. Its said that tough times challenges one toward realizing their hidden potential. 

Therefore you may choose to either avoid the stressor, alter it, accept it or adapt to it. Simple things that i do when am stressed is writting down what is stressing me, how its affecting me what the stress is making me feel. Then i divert my mind from the stress n do thing that relaxes me. Maybe listen to music, read or take a walk or talk about it with a pal. 

Sometimes i find myself crying if am overwhelmed n feel very relaxed! Well maybe u can even try this simple 'first aid' activity for stress. Sit comfortable on a chair, relax, close your eyes n drift into a sweet memories. Take 5deep breaths making sure you hold air in your lungs for close 30seconds. Am sure your tension will easen up. All the best dear and i hope you find my sharing useful. Cheers. Rem God loves you!!! 

Who Am I?

Understanding oneself is a very important aspect of personal development, realization and actualization. In every way of our lives the key important thing that really determine our achievements, be it at personal social economic or spiritual level, is not much of our background, money, or how big our dreams are, but much of how well we understand ourselves, and the people who are around us. 

To start it is my hope and belief that we all, that is you and me agree that we are human beings. That unlike other animals that we may be sharing taxonomic groups with, we show a high level of complexity and development in anatomic, physiological, social, intellectual capabilities. Above all is that we have over time acquired great and dynamic skills that help us to thrive quite well in most environments.

As earlier stated, human beings are complex in nature and it is therefore hard for me as it is for you and many other to really get a definitive way of defining and understanding oneself. But one thing that am very sure of is that understanding oneself is so vital that we can not overlook it. As far as am concerned, it is actually the basic essence of realizing what one is destined to be and achieve. It is indeed a diving board into one’s life.
There are different ways that people define themselves. Some will go by their names, others by their status in the family society, others by their profession, and others by their sexual orientation. Well at personal level we maybe satistifed with the definitions that we offer to ourselves, however are those definitions really good enough to define who we are? Given the fact that human beings are complex in nature and that who one is at this instance is as a result of an interplay of different factors, forces and influences over one’s lifetime, I tend to believe that there is some static part of us that would not really change under whichever circumstance or place we are. And that is the real us. At some point I take it as the constant in every human being, such that one can say that he or she is a product of the constant call it K and many other influences in life. In fact one person once said that we are a product of nature and nurture. Therefore what people see and appreciate about of you on the outside stems from that innate constant and your environment. Just as in genetic they say that one’s phenotype is a product of genotype and the environment.

In such a case the most important thing that one need to be aware of and understand is that constant. This is because we have very little control over it unlike nurture or environment. In trying to do so, consider this:
• sexual being
What makes you be a boy or girl? What is it like being a boy or a girl? What makes me be attracted to boy/girl?
• Social being.
Do i need other people? Is my family worth being? Do i have friends? Are they important?
• Intellectual/mental being.
What makes me different from animals? Why can i make my world better? What control me such that i do not work on instinct always as an animal?
• Physical being.
Why is my body the way it is? Did i decide it to be the way it is?
• Spiritual being
Do i desire the to feel or experience a connection to a supernatural power? Of what importance is that to me?
I can not make any conclusive ending to this note because the conclusion is within you!!!!
Love you friends.

Tough times, for Tough People!!

In my difficult times, I often loose my ability to face the future optimistically, I do begin to think about my tomorrow negatively wondering what else is going to happen. I forget that tough times are here for a short while and soon they shall be gone. I concentrate on the problems that are bothering me today and not the opportunities of tomorrow. In so doing I not only loose the potential of today but also throw away the beauty of tomorrow. And that always makes my tough times a tragedy.

With all these happening in my life, I need only one thing. On medicine that shall cure my mind and cure my life all together. And that is hope. I need someone who shall encourage me remind me of the promises that the lord has set out for me. I need someone who shall instill some pie of hope in my heart and hence give me hope for a better tomorrow. Yah am still young and have a big life ahead of me. I want to thrive in my life, but sometimes I just don't have the strength to move on. I do not have the courage to step into tomorrow.

I want to design some sensational plan that will drive me through my entire life successfully, but sometimes I don't have someone to motivate me to start it up. Listen now, here someone called Robert Schuller has spoken a lot in my life. I have learn that tough times never last but do tough people do. I have to to stand tough. I do not want to wither with the times and the challenges, but stand with the promises that the Lord have made in my life. I am not going to give up in the toughest of all the times. Even if it mean to literally stand on the bible and tell God am standing on the promises he has made in my life, I will!

It does not matter what I have been through, what I have done, where I have come from. Who are my parents, bothers, sisters or friends. All I care about is that I have a tomorrow and have the option of taking it positively and making the best out of it, or throwing it away.

Sometimes I have been making goals and plans for my life, but something small disappoint me an j throw them away. Throw away my future. Do not start thinking how irrational and inconsistent I maybe, but I know you too whether you want to accept publicly as I have done or not, you have in one way or another been tearing and throwing away the dreams and the plans you have made in your life at one time or the other. Yah....i mean you tear and throw away your future. But from today you can stand with me and say that you are not going to do that again. Say that every idea is worth considering and pursuing. And that I wont waste away the possibility of a potential holding dreams and ideas.